up late again...

Well, I can't seem to fall asleep...been doing a lot of pondering lately...on all kinds of things...no way I could even come close to writing it all down. I'm realizing how much I really like the words of the hymns and how much they are like scriptures. I'll have to work on the work, watch, fight, pray thing...sometime. i keep thinking of these different things i like to look up...so i'm not doing a very good job of sticking with any 'theme'. oh well. this really isn't for anyone other than me, so i guess it doesn't matter. when i first started, i debated whether or not to put a link on my family blog...but i didn't...not because i don't want anybody to read it...but i just didn't want to feel like i was doing it for any reason other than myself. so...if you're reading this...forgive the jumbled up randomness of it all :). one really cool thing happened about a week and a half ago tho'. first, a couple weeks ago our lesson in gospel principles was on the Holy Ghost...and I was trying to think of a good personal experience to share...and for some reason, my mind was just coming up blank...which frustrated me...because i know i've felt the spirit, felt guided, yada yada...tons of times in my life. even after i came home i could think of stuff i couldn't think of in class...but nothing recent...and that really bothered me. like...really REALLY. then last week Thursday morning...I woke up and really felt like Tommy and I needed to go to the temple...like...that night. However, it's a 2+ hour drive, and we have three children under the age of six...so...going to the temple is hardly ever convenient. Tommy was working on some stuff on our house (that I really wanted to happen), Elli wouldn't be home from school till probably close to 3:30. So...realistically, the only session that would be even feasible...would be the 7:00 one. Anyway...it just seemed sooo inconvenient...and the thought of being out till midnight (which is what time it would have been by the time we got home)...was not appealing. but...notwithstanding all this...i had this strong feeling that we needed to go that night (Thursday). I thought, well, Tuesay (the next feasible day)...would be fine...I rationalized it...called Tommy to see what he thought...he said either day...called mom and dad (since they'd be watching the kids...)....they said either day. but everytime i thought about going on another day...I just did NOT feel right. So...finally I decided that it was really dumb that I was looking to other people for confirmation. I called everybody up...arranged e verything...Tommy came home...and we went. It was great...but the whole time i was in their I was waiting for something really spiritual or profound to happen. Anyway...we came home...Gage barfed a couple times...lovely thing to take care of on the side of the road at almost midnight. Anyway...just the other day I realized that had we not gone that Thursday night...Gage got sooooo sick after that...had we not gone thursday night...we probably would not have gotten a chance to go until after they reopen the temple in april (they're taking a little spring break to fix/add some things). Anyway...my eyes are trying to close...but it was really neat to feel the sweet confmation of listening to the spirit. It was a great night :) Anyway...i'm going to get to bed...I'm FINALLY...exhausted :)

i should do this morning often...

Work...

This one always gets me. I know Heavenly Father does not want us to burn out...therefore, working like crazy, go-go-go-go, etc. is not exactly what this must mean. I love working hard...I hate stopping...I love to just keep going and going...but sometimes I think that to God, I must look like one of those little toddlers you watch that has legs and body moving way too fast and he's running because if he stops he'll fall on his face...but eventually he falls anyway.. :). So, then, when the Lord says 'Work'...what exactly does he have in mind? I plugged "work" into the Gospel library search...and am having way to much fun reading everything...lol :)

- There is a lot of mention of genealogy/temple work and missionary work. This makes me think of the three fold mission of the church. Perhaps it would be effective if I tried harder to ask myself when I start....(I'm trying to think of a better phrase than 'going crazy'...but it's not happening). Anyway...maybe it would be good if I occasionally asked myself if what I was stressing about was in any way proclaiming the gospel, redeeming the dead, or perfecting the saints (at least, the under 4 ft. tall saints in my stewardship).

- There's also a lot of connecting work...to enduring. I think that that is one of the most important things we can do...just keep doing the little things...that way when the big trials come...we have a foundation to fall back on.

- I love the serenity prayer...God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. My grandmother used to have it on some little plaque on her counter. Anyway...we talked in Family Home Evening about how we are responsible for our attitudes, etc. And it just seems that the older my kids get (old being 5 years old...lol), the more I realize there are certain things I can control...and certain things I can't...I can't force my kids to be happy, use the bathroom in the toilet, go to sleep...etc. some things are just in their control...and that's the way it should be. So...my other goal (and I've actually been working on this for awhile...so hopefully it shouldn't be that hard...is to make sure that what I'm trying to 'work' on, is not something that will ultaimately lead to a power struggle, or frustration. Anyway...I'm exhausted, this post has been continuing for the past few days, and I just need to post it already!

Work and Watch and Fight and Pray =)

I've had this sinus...thing...for a few weeks now and I'm not sleeping real well at night...thus...I'm exhausted during the day. So, I need to get back to getting up early and taking time for me. *yawn*. We had Stake Conference this past weekend...and it was one of the best I think I've been to. It really was great. Sometimes Stake Conference doesn't do much to fill my cup...not because the speakers aren't good...but simply because trying to sit still with a 5, 3, and 1 year old for two hours straight can be a bit much. That part was still hard...but there were some really good talks that have caused me to re-evaluate some things, be grateful for a lot of things, and be more dedicated in many ways. I really REALLY love studying the gospel. Some days I think that when my kids are all in school than I'll have all kinds of time on my hands...but...not only do I think that i'll find myself suprised at the still small amount of time I have...but I also love having my kids this age. So, I just have to make it happen.

I've had the last view of "Put Your Shoulder To The Wheel" stuck in my head like crazy for the past few days...can't even figure out why...but...well, first, here's what it says. It says, "Work and Watch and Fight and Pray". Anyway...and I have been think of those words all week (no joke...pretty sad, huh?). So I thought I'd have fun looking them up and really trying to figure out how I can "work and watch and fight and pray". However, as it is almost 11:30 and my bedtime was an hour and a half ago...I think I'll stop and hopefully...do more tomorrow. *yawn*